Below is a list of helpful resources which have been sorted by different types of loss. We hope you will find words of comfort and guidance within the selection we have offered.

Memory Sharing – Gather you family and friends (virtually/online) and ask each to share a memory of your loved one. Take turns telling your stories and feelings about your special person. Pick one characteristic that each person really identified with you loved one. End the session with a moment of silence in which family/friends are invited to send loving thoughts to your loved one.

Create Comfort Stones – Take a walk (following safe distance guidelines) and collect small, smooth stones. Using a permanent marker, write your favorite things about your loved one or maybe things he/she would often say, or maybe I love you – I miss you.

Cook Your Loved One’s Favorite Foods – Create a meal using ingredients that your love one enjoyed the most. Perhaps make a special seat at the dinner table for your loved one.

Create a Playlist – Use a collection of your loved one’s favorite songs and share with friends and family.

Light a Candle – and perhaps ask family and friends to light a candle: In Remembrance. In Hope.

Create a Stamp – You can upload a photo and create a stamp that can be legally used to mail letters. http://www.photostamps.com

Make a Facebook Memorial Page – Invite others to share stories and photos of your loved one. Consider a memory board on Pinterest or post favorite photos on Instagram.

 

Article of the Month- October 2024

Your Pain is Not Your Connection

~Litsa, What’s Your Griefemail sharing button

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Or, perhaps I should say, that your pain is not your only connection. The pain in your grief is most certainly your connection to their absence. But it is unlikely that your is your connection to who they were. It is not the connection that most represents their life and your relationship.

I recently posted a list on Instagram of things that (at least for me) are my connections to the people I have lost. I shared this because I remember in my early grief when I feared that my pain changing, evolving, or becoming easier to carry was a sign that I must be losing my connection.

We have heard from thousands of people with this fear, so I know I am not alone. But what I also know, as grieve and a grief therapist, is that my pain is not my connection. Your pain is not your connection.

In fact, it is often when our pain takes up less space than our other connections are able to strengthen and deepen.

If your pain is not your connection, what are your connections?

Your connection is your memories.

Your connection is the things they taught you.

Your connection is your ability to imagine what they would say and the advice they would give you.

Your connection is the moments you see something and think, they would have loved this.

Your connection is visiting the places you always went together.

Your connection is the co-destiny you create when you visit the places they always wanted to see but never did.

Your connection is knowing you would never be the person you are had they not lived.

Your connection is doing the hard work of making the most of this “option B” life because you know that is what they would have wanted for you.

Your connection is every time that you introduce someone new to them through your memories and stories, shouldering the pain and tears to the side long enough to say, they were amazing and I wish you could have met them.